Quote of the day

Living in an international environment, where more or less everybody is trying to learn English, a lot of funny words and sentences will come up. Therefore I decide to start “quote of the day”. Those of you who know my profile on the networking page “studivz” know that I also really like film quotes…. So, if there is no “sambucca quote” you will find a movie quote instead.

Getting started with some old ones:


Every German knows the stupid English teacher joke: “Can I become a beefsteak?”.

So, what’s about this one......

“I made myself a pizza” Woodheadcrew member 2006

Guess you will look better with double cheese;)

After spending some month in the US Saray came to England. Never wondering why people always asking her “Are you KILLING me?”. Well, bad joke can kind of killin’ you, but still we prefer “KIDDIN’”…… However, a running gage was born.


Spending time with Amin I learned to enjoy Def Jam stand up comedy. But still my favourite is Eddie Murphys RAW stand up from 1987. The best part of his show was taking the piss of Bill Cosby….. If you don’t know it, you really should watch it!
He even had the look and the voice of Bill.

Guess this will be the longest quote ever:

Imagin’: Late 80ies. Eddie Murphy in a really ugly tight purple leather dress.

Comin’ up to the stage like:
Do you watch the Bill Cosby Show?I do too.
I love Bill Cosby's show.
I been a big fan of Bill Cosby all my life.

Never met the man before, but he called me up about a year ago and chastised me on the phone for being too dirty on-stage.
[remember late 80ies where not as dirty as nowheredays and he was sexism, racism…
what the fuck... he pretty much know all the –isms]

It was real weird, because I had never met him and he just thought… it was... he should call me up…. because he was Bill… and tell me… that he did.... about what comedy is all about.
And I sat and listened to this man chastise me.
And when Bill Cosby chastises you, you forget you grown.
You feel like one of the Cosby kids and shit….

And I ran in the house all excited to talk to Bill and picked up the telephoneand
Bill got raw on me.
I was like, "Hello, Mr. Cosby?"
And you hear:
"I would liiiiiike to talk to you.....about some of the things that you do in your …. show… now! …I'm going to tell you a story."
[image the cosby voice]
He always tells you stories.

"I would like to tell you a story…..I have five children….. one, two, three, four, five….Five... Five children… I live in Massachusetts with my wife… Camille, and my five children… now! one of the five children that we have… there are four girls and a boy…the boy's name is Ennis…he loves everything you do….
Comes home from school the other day… with a big smile on his face and my son looks just like me
[Cosby face]

He walks through the door…looking at me with this big smile…..and I cannot resist, becauseit's such a beautiful smile.And he walks up and
I say…'What are you smiling about? '
And the child says to me: 'I'm smiling because I need money to go see the Eddie Murphy show….please give me money for a ticket.
Now!...if the child is smiling this way because he needs money for a ticket…I have to give him money for a ticket. I do not handle the money in the house… my wife… Camille ..handles the ticket money. So I must go into the kitchen, to where my wife is cooking dinner for the family…and she is inside the kitchen cooking….and she's got a bowl….and she's cooking up the food.. man.. she's cooking it up. And the child walks in the room with the smile and he says…
'Mother, please, money. '
She gives him the money…he runs off to see your show. Now! we sit in the living room waiting for Ennis to return….at about…in the morning… the child comes through the door… he has a different look on his face.. a look like he heard something at your show that he's never heard before… and I say to my child..

[Bill and Ennis]
I say, 'Child... 'I say,
'What did the man say on the stage? '
And he says, 'Pop, the man comes out and says these things.
'I say, 'Well, what did he say?
'Pop, he comes out and says some stuff.'
I say, 'What did he do?
''Pop, he walks out and he goes:
~“Hello, suck this, and MF and kiss my big black stuff….and suck it and stick it down in your mouth and suck it, suck it."~'

[Bill and Eddie]
B: You cannot say filth, flarn, filth, flarn, filth in front of people.
E: And I say, "I never said no 'filth, flarn, filth'."
B: You know what I'm talking about.I can't use the type of languagethat you use, but you know what I mean when I say 'filth, flarn, flarn, flarn, filth'."
E: I say, "I never said 'filth, flarn, filth'.I don't know what you're talking about.I'm offended you called. Fuck you."
That's when Bill got pissed and said:"That's what I'm talking about.You cannot say 'fuck'......in front of people."
And I got mad… because he thought that was my whole act… like I just walked out on-stageand cursed and left…
I manage to stick in some jokes between the curses.
You couldn't give no curse show...
Walk out, say, "Hey, Felt Forum,"motherfucker, dick, pussy, snot and shit.
Good night.

Good night.
Suck my dick.
Bye-bye.